I'm in the travelling mood these days. Just around Norway of course visiting some people. On thursday I'm going to North of Norway and the weekends after that, Oslo is waiting.

This weekend I have been away visiting Regine in Førde (a 4 hour drive from Bergen). Getting there wasn't exactly a painless experience. Can't believe how badly I reacted to those crooked roads. Thought I was going to throw up all over myself, but thank god I survived it. Next time, I think I'll just take the air plane instead. If it's not one of the little planes that is, because those are the ones who tend to crash, at least more often they do. You see, I'm already quite uncomfortable on the big ones. Anyway, it was good seeing her again, My friend Sissel was with us too. Lets say we all have agreed to chill on the drinks the next time! The thing is me and Regine both went totally nuts, but it was fun.

I'm going on a hike even though the sky is covered with black clouds. Yeah, its probably gonna rain as usual, but if I decide to wait for good weather, it might take forever here where I live. Just a few years ago I remember how I used to hate going on hikes. I mean, I really really hated it and only went when my school forced me to. Now even the rain can't stop me. It's funny how you change just like that!

I don’t get people who never admits their own mistakes. The bitterness only continues to grow around these kind of people, yet they don’t see it themselves. When you’re confronted with something that has evolved into a problem, even if you don’t agree at first, at least take what’s been said into consideration. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Too bad some people never seem to learn anything. I guess they are just incurable...

If I had a million dollars would I be any happier? Just a little? I think not. Maybe in the beginning I would, but then after a while I'll go back to being just as I were. That's how it is. My life! Me! Never being satisfied with anything. Still it could get better then it is right now, I think. It must! All though it isn't bad at this point, I just want to run away from it somehow. Do something different, be a little crazy if I must. In one way I wish I could get high on life the way it is in this very second...

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It's starting to bother me that this blog isn't completely anonymous because I have to be so careful about what I write. I've only told a very limited number of people about this blog, but that's enough to not write what's on my mind right now because it involves someone else that I'm close to.

Getting ditched by my friends was how it all started today. My bad luck if you can call it that. On second thought they say you get what you give so maybe I deserve all the small shitty things that happens to me these days. Karma perhaps??? Anyway getting ditched or forgotten does rarely occur, so I let that one easily pass by and I wasn't even interested in hearing their excuses.

Of course I saw the back of my buss driving away just as I got to the buss station, leaving me waiting for something that seemed like a decade for the next one. Finally after sitting out in the cold counting the fucking seconds in a pathetic attempt to kill boredom, the buss snailed its way in front of me. As I stumbled in to pay the driver I got the question every 21 one year old dreads. "Child or adult?" I handled his brutal insult with a fake smile as I impaled him with my eyes and snapped back quickly, "ADULT!" Excuse me, but I do not look like a fucking 15 year old, at least I thought I didn't. Now I admit I have my doubts. I may not be the tallest person, but I'm not short either.

It was a relief to see the buss half empty and without any noisy people in it. As I sat down thinking my day couldn't get any worse, this creepy person had obviously decided to sit next to me. Some horrible flashbacks involuntary popped my mind. Hello... the buss was half empty, but for some reason that was ignored. Fine! Weird guy next to me. At least I had my ipod with me. Getting lost in music is my way of escaping reality, but of course the stupid thing had almost no batteries left and before I knew it I was back to reality. Fuck!

As if that wasn't enough, my family seems to be mad at me for wanting to study abroad. After all I'll be leaving them... It doesn’t matter what I do really, because every time I make a decision, they suddenly have all these things against it. It’s exhausting. Except for my mother, she’s actually quite supportive this time even though she’s sad I’m leaving.

Hopefully 17 of May will cheer me up. It's Norway's national day and is somewhat a huge celebration here.

X&Y

My cousins have been here for a visit for about three days now. We have been told we are about the only ones who ever invites the whole family over these days. That I have no problem understanding. The boys are at the age 6 and 8, two boys out of control that is. Man am I exhausted. As much as I love them, they drive me nuts sometimes. They are extremely wild and refuse to listen to anyone! Especially not their own mother. Boys tend to be out of control in our family, or so it seems. I'm amazed the house is still standing. The fact is nobody has any power over them at all. My aunt has totally given up on raising them and lets them go on how ever they please. The only reaction I saw of her was when the 8 year old was balancing on this fence which is about 5 meters above the ground. I know she had her troubles with me when I was little. Like she had to fight me to get me into bed, but she admits I was nothing compared to them. Still the boys make me laugh and even though they behave like two little bandits most of the time (I mean really bad), I kinda enjoy their company. Some of what they have to say is quite fascinating. It also helps when they say I'm their favorite cousin, cause they have quite a few. Then they are excused, at least for one day.